No comment, part whatever

My mom asked me why nobody comments on my blog but her. The only answers I could think of made me feel bad (my writing doesn't connect with people, nobody likes me, etc.). That's one thing I don't like about blogging. I don't do it for the comments, but the lack of comments can be discouraging.

The main reason I keep this blog going is because it makes me write out things I wouldn't otherwise write, and for a writer, that's important. I've always kept a personal diary, but because it's so personal, there's both total freedom and no accountability. That has a place, but it doesn't really challenge or discipline me as a writer.

So, even having a small audience here means I write in a more structured and constructive way, and I consider many of my posts to be great writing exercises. I think some of the stuff I've written here ends up being better than stuff I've written for actual writing classes. If not for the small, passive, often lurking audience on my blog, I'd have never written it, because I haven't got a lot of time to take classes anymore.

Sure, there are other reasons for this blog. Occasional updates for the friends I know read it--these are mostly friends I once saw in everyday life or talked to a lot on the phone, but because of life getting in the way, we aren't in close enough contact anymore. It's also a historical record, because I do love keeping track of things so I can look back and reminisce about what I was thinking at a particular day or time. And when I do get comments, it's fun to see something you've written resonate with people.

Mostly, though, this blog is for me to keep writing, even when it's little random thoughts like this: Moms are great, because of all the many and sundry ways they support you. Tutu's one of the best. Especially because I think she likes my writing and thinks everyone should be commenting as often as she does. Even if only to be nice.

But I don't mind--really! This isn't a post fishing for comments. It's exactly what I said above: a reason to keep writing, a little more formally than I would in my journal, and, in fact, it's a perfect example. I started writing it two days ago, but abandoned it twice thinking it wasn't finished. This morning, I finally forced myself to bring it to some sort of completion, as if I had to print it out before I left for writing class. Finish it, even if it's not perfect.

So comment if you wish, or don't. I will keep writing, which is really what matters most to writers.


ekdouglas736 said...


stiill said...

Feedback from comments is great. Sure, I have stats, but with everyone just reading the RSS feed it's hard to know who's actually reading anything. It's nice to get a discussion going, too.

I've noticed that certain types of my posts are much more likely to get comments than others, though I haven't acted on that information yet.

Jennifer said...

hello there, nice to hear from you both!

I haven't figured out which kinds of posts get comments--just that some definitely do, and some definitely don't. Meanwhile, certain of my friends almost never comment. Writing is good, no matter what!

Sarah Goss said...

Ohh! I think there are lots of reasons people don't comment on blogs, reasons that have nothing to do with how effective a writer you are (and you are a very effective writer). I can't tell you how many times a friend or acquaintance has told me something that revealed she'd been reading my blog, and I had no idea because that person had NEVER commented. I think a lot of people are just not comfortable with the public nature of commenting. Also, it could have more to do with how people feel about their OWN writing. Their writing, in their comment, is hanging out there for the world to see, and I believe it makes a lot of people self-conscious. There are other reasons... I could go on and on. But never think it's because your writing doesn't connect! It absolutely does.

Anna said...

I agree with Sarah.

I've also noticed that some of the blog entries that I like the best are the ones that get the least comments. Of course, the 'best' ones for me are often the ones where I emotionally pour my heart out, but I think it's difficult for people to comment in the face of that. It's tough for some people to know what to say, so they say nothing... even though I sometimes find out (in other ways) that those entries really did resonate with them.

I'm glad you are writing, no matter whether someone comments or not. It's worthwhile.

Carrie S said...

I know what you mean about lack of comments being discouraging. I just had lunch with a friend who told me she feels like she knows what's going on in my life b/c she reads my blog, but I never knew that, since she's never commented!

honeygramnan said...

Sorry, sorry, sorry, Jeni. I don't comment out of sheer laziness, but I love reading your blog--when I think about reading something other than Huffpost. I actually commented on your Mom's a few minutes ago without being prompted, so maybe I'll get more used to it. But I think Sarah nailed it when she mentioned the public nature of it.