Do you believe in the power of positive thinking? I, as Fox Mulder would say, want to believe. I definitely feel that those people who are honestly and genuinely optimistic enjoy life more and probably even have (or create?) better luck. But that's how it works for other people. Me, well...it's very much against my inner workings to just intuitively know and trust that things will work out. I have every reason in my wonderful life to believe that I will find great solutions, that it's perfectly all right to expect the best, that good things can absolutely happen. And yet, my first impulse is always to imagine all the wacky, weird, and worrisome things that could go wrong.
Right now I feel that I am truly being tested. There is something I am very much hoping will work out the way I want it to, and despite all my efforts (intense, sincere efforts!) to have faith, to believe, to put positive energy out in the universe -- whatever you want to call it -- what keeps coming back to me are worries, fears, and niggling little urges to do searches on Google for answers to all the hideous what-if scenarios floating around in my head. But for now, I'm resisting the urges, soothing the worries, and fighting the fears. I do believe!
It kind of makes me understand fundamentalist religious people who are constantly going on and on about their faith. I think that in those dark moments of doubt, saying you believe can help you really believe.