Good Ol' Mom made an executive decision about the earlier bar-related crisis, and there will now only be beer, wine, champagne, and soda at our wedding.
At first, I was a tad non-plussed by this, as I had completely wedded (pun intended) myself to the idea of having a full bar in support of all our unbounded revelry and glee. So I decided it was time to call in World's Best Dad. True to form, he helped me make peace with the situation by pointing out that, hey, who doesn't like beer and wine? Good point, Dad.
I think everyone is relieved to have the crisis behind us.
P.S. Mom also recommended that, if you really must have liquor at our wedding, you can bring a flask and ask the fine bartenders to mix you a drink--they probably won't turn you down. If you still have a problem with that, add a comment here and she'll see it because, honestly, I think Good Ol' Mom is the only person who reads this. And that's why we love her.